


Swamp Goats

by orphan_account



Category: RWBY
Genre: CURSED FIC, Crack, M/M, Trans Sun Wukong, crackfic, this completely crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 18:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17924351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After Adam comes home, Shrek and Adam go out on a date to get Dorito Salads. An offhand comment and assumption from blonde monkey gives them the idea to get married.





	Swamp Goats

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Goatman_DancingBridge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goatman_DancingBridge/gifts).



> For Goat Man on discord. I hope you’re happy. And sorry it took so long
> 
> Please note this a crack fic so don’t take it seriously.

Adam took a piece of purple cloth. He wiped off Yang’s and Blake’ blood from his sword. The sword reflected the some light shining through the trees in the swamp. Finally he was done with that wrench and her girlfriend. He could move on to have a much happier life with his beloved.

He walked on gravel towards a small home. His home. The home he shared with his darling. He knocked on the door. _Creak_

A tall green handsome ogre opened the door. Shrek, his lover welcomed Adam home, “Adam, babe, you’re finally home. What took you so long?” Shrek asked his sweetheart worryingly.”

Damn Shrek and his sexy as fuck accent, “It was nothing, honey. Just got rid of some bitches who have been irritating me.”

His lover still looked worryingly at him, “that’s good. How about we head out for some Dorito salad at that one place we like.”

——  
Adam and Shrek arrived at their destination. The famous restaurant known well for its Dorito salads. The Dorito Salads were a 5-star dish that everyone wanted. Good customer service by staff that well loved. Shrek opened the door for Adam who thanked him. Jingle. 

“Welcome.” The hostess known as Bun Bun who was famous for her bunny cakes, greeted them.

“Table for 2? I assume?” Bun Bun asked the couple. They nodded. 

“Right this way.” The Shrek and his lover followed has the bunny Faunus hopped towards their table. The table was situated near a corner by a window with a beautiful view. The hostess gave the two their menus as they sat down. Bun Bun called over a monkey Faunus who was collecting a tip and cleaning a nearby table. 

“Sun! Would you please serve this lovely couple?” The hostess asked the waiter in her usual high pitched cheery voice.

“Yes! I’ll be right there.” The Trans Lesbian called back to the Bunny. 

“Hello! My name is Sun, I’ll be your server for tod-“ she cut off as she recognized Adam. “Hey man it’s been a while. How you doing these days?”

“Oh you know, the usual. I’ve had to vore a couple of disobedient white fang members.” Adam gestured off as it was nothing big. “You?”

“Been here serving up the best Dorito salads. I also got a girlfriend. She’s gorgeous with her blue hair. Though she’s afraid of water. You here with your husband, Adam?” 

Just as she said that the couple went redder than Adams hair. They spluttered in unison. 

“I-I- I’m not- We not..” They continued babbering incoherently.

Sun looked between Shrek and Adam questioningly, “What? Y’all aren’t married yet?” Her cheery tone fell flat with disappointment. She got no response except for the two get redder and blushing furiously. She changed the topic after getting a glare from her manager.

“What do y’all want? Dorito Salads I assume?”

Shrek cleared his throat and his blush faded slightly though it was still very much noticeable, “We’ll have two Dorito Salads and a Velvet Bun cake.”

Sun wrote down their order and went off to deliver it to the chef. She was disappointed and muttered quietly, “They’d be SUCH a cute a couple.” She sulked off. Leaving the couple alone.

There was now an awkward tension. They both hoped their salads would arrive soon as the tense air was noticed by other patrons at the restaurant. 

Customer service which was as quick as it was, Sun came back to their table. She delivered their Dorito Salads. They quickly thanked her. She went back to sulking and grumbling.

Shrek glanced at Adam while he wasn’t looking. Adam did the same thing. The two quietly eat their Dorito salads in peace. But that peace couldn’t last forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Cliffhanger. The next part will be up by the weekend. 
> 
> My tumblr is I-want-fanfics so feel free to send feedback and criticisms.


End file.
